


All The Little Things I Love About You

by kitkat0723



Series: Love Letters 'Verse [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: All this is done over email, And Buck really loves Eddie, Boys In Love, Eddie really loves Buck, Idk we'll update the tags accordingly, Love Letters, M/M, Mentions of Parental death and crappy Childhoods, Probably some angst, Send them really sappy emails obviously, Sweet, What do you do when your partner leaves for a month?, mentions of love, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24953032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkat0723/pseuds/kitkat0723
Summary: Buck gets the bad news that his parents are dead and Maddie and him have to go deal with setting their estate straight. Eddie writes Buck a letter before he leaves for a month, letting him know how much he loves him.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Love Letters 'Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805962
Comments: 12
Kudos: 110





	All The Little Things I Love About You

**Author's Note:**

> This came about because I was searching for prompts and didn't want an entire series of one sided letters. Shanachie agreed to be my Buck ;) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy these Sappy Sappy emails from the boys. 
> 
> These will posted to both of our Ao3's. Eddie from my side and Buck from her's.

Pizza boxes along with the other remnants of guys night graced the coffee like it usually did. Buck was curled into Eddie’s side and Christopher was sitting in front of the couch on the floor within easy reach of either man. Indiana Jones was currently trying to escape the bad guy on television, and all three were caught up in the adventure. They had work tomorrow, but since it was movie night, they knew they were going to be going to sleep a little later than planned. Their day off had been spent with Christopher shopping, getting ice cream and even a walk on the beach. It was a good day.    
When the doorbell rang, all three jumped then laughed. Eddie untangled himself from his boyfriend and got up to answer it.    
Opening the door, he found a frantic looking Maddie. His first thought was the baby, but Maddie was a nurse, she wouldn’t come here. “Maddie, what’s wrong?”    
She absently swiped at tears, and took a deep breath. “Is Buck home?”    
“Of course he is. Come in, what’s a matter?” He asked a second time, but inside Maddie brushed by him.    
“Evan,” she breathes out when she spots him and Eddie’s eyes wing up. As far as he knew, he was the only one who called Buck his given name, Buck telling him once it was different when Eddie did it.    
“Maddie! What’s wrong, what happened? Is Evelyn okay? Is Chim?” Maddie nods and looks down as Christopher looks up at them, eyes holding a child’s concern. Maddie reaches out a hand and pulls him from the living room, away from either Diaz, making him freak out. “Maddie, what’s wrong.” Buck repeats again as his sister drags them into the kitchen.    
They emerge ten minutes later, Buck’s face looking haunted and Maddie clinging to him. He’s seen that look before. It was look that meant Evan Buckley had checked out of the world and was probably about to do something stupid.    
“Hey Bud, time for bed,” Eddie told Christopher and bent over for the remote to turn off the t.v on as Buck and Maddie headed for the door.    
“But the movie,” Christopher pouted.    
“I know bud, we’ll finish it Sunday night, I promise. Come on. Let’s go brush your teeth and get ready for bed.” Eddie silently hoped this wouldn’t merge into a full on meltdown.    
“Okay, but what about Buck?” He looks over to where Maddie and Buck are still clinging to each other by the door, Eddie’s eyes automatically noticing the stiff posture, how he was withdrawn from the hug.    
“He’ll come say good night after Auntie Maddie leaves, okay,” Eddie was gently nudging his son down the hall towards the bathroom.    
He hung back as much as he could to give the Buckley siblings their space, even though he wanted to grab Buck and take away whatever hurt his sister coming to their house brought him.    
“Can you read me a story?” Chris asked. Eddie smiled down at him and passed a hand over his curls. It had been a few months since Christopher wanted a bedtime story read to him.    
“Sure Buddy, which one?”    
“This one!” He picked up a Diary of a wimpy kid book they’d been reading in school.    
“Good choice. Let’s get in bed first though.” After arranging Christopher in bed, he settled on the side and opened the book and began reading out loud, Christopher settled on his chest.    
After twenty minutes soft snores could be heard from below him. He smiled and kissed the top of Chris’ head, sliding out of the bed and setting the book on the nightstand.    
He closed the door slightly and headed down the hall to find Buck. He found him sitting on the sofa, staring at nothing. Fuck.    
“Buck?” He whispered, not wanting to spook him, keeping his distance. When no response came, he tried again. “Buck, are you okay? What happened?” Still nothing. “Evan,..” Eddie started and Buck stared up at him.    
“I..” Buck started not finishing his sentence.    
Eddie eased down next to him on the sofa, carefully reaching out for one of Buck’s hands. When Buck didn’t pull away at the touch, Eddie let out a quiet breath.    
“What happened with Maddie are Evelyn and Chimney okay?”    
“They’re fine,” Buck cleared his throat, then raised his eyes to Eddie’s. “It’s my parents. They’re dead.” disbelief coated his voice.    
“Oh baby, I’m sorry.” He reached over, sliding his arm over Buck’s shoulders, pulling him into his side.    
“I can’t...I don’t..” Buck gave up and turned his face into Eddie’s shoulder.    
“I got you. I’m here. Promise.” He carded his fingers through Buck’s blond hair, giving him room to talk if he wanted.    
“I don’t feel anything. They’re my parents and I just don’t feel anything, except maybe relief and that  _ feels _ wrong.”    
“You feel how you feel. There’s no wrong way to process grief, you know that.” Eddie pulled him in even closer. Letting him know, hoping he understood whatever he was feeling was valid. “Do you want me to call Bobby, ask him if you can take the day off?”    
“No, I have to..I have to go talk to him tomorrow. Can we clean up and go to bed?”    
“Of course, whatever you want.” Eddie knew they needed to talk about this, but knew that Buck would in his own time and that he couldn’t force him to. He’d learned that from Shannon’s death.    
They cleaned up and headed down the hall, both of them going through their nighttime routine, side by side. Buck left the bathroom first and Eddie heard the bedroom door open, then close. When he stepped into the room, Buck wasn’t in bed, so he got into it to wait. Buck joined him a few minutes later. “I didn’t want Chris to think I forgot to say good night.”    
Eddie smiled and held an arm up, smiling a little as Buck settled himself against Eddie’s chest and tossed one leg over his. He was soon wrapped up in a ‘Buck Bow’.    
“I love you. I want you to know that. I’m always gonna be here. What you’re feeling, no matter what is, it’s valid and I’m glad you’re in my life, in Chris’ life. We’ll figure everything out, together.”    
“I love you too, Eddie. Good night.”    
“Good night,” Eddie reached over and turned on the alarm then, the light and snuggled down into the bed when Buck tossed the covers over them both. They’d get through it, together he had no doubt. He wasn’t going to let Buck go through this alone.    
In the morning, Buck was still sort of checked out from everything, and his phone kept going off, but he figured that was Maddie. When they got to work, Buck asked Bobby if he could talk to him and they soon closed themselves off from the others in the bunk room. When they emerged, Buck looked even more withdrawn. Eddie wished he could take the hurt away, but he knew it wasn’t possible. Buck settled himself against Eddie and wouldn’t move or talk to anyone unless it was a question that only required a yes or no answer. He was fine on calls, being his normal smiling self, but back at the firehouse he closed into himself.    
They were in the middle of eating dinner with the crew when Buck’s phone chimed with another text message. He picked it up, then set it back down again and pushed away the Chicken Bobby had made at dinner. “I leave Monday, Maddie comes in on Wednesday. What the fuck am I supposed to do by myself out there. I hated it there.”    
Eddie scooted his chair out a bit to take Buck in his arms. Usually the team complained about them being affectionate at work, but seeing how Chim and Buck both looked, no one said anything.    
“You can stay at the hotel and actually get sleep. Or you can call back home and talk to Christopher.” Eddie kissed his forehead, and tried not to let the hurt show, knowing Buck would be gone for quite awhile. But he was coming back, he knew this.    
“Maybe. I don’t want..” He started and Eddie hated the fact that this could set back all the progress they made in their relationship.    
“As long as you remember time zones,” Eddie teased lightly, “I’m sure Chris would love to tell you about his day while I’m at work.”    
“Okay. I’m gonna go lie down,” he excused himself from the table and headed for the Bunk room as Eddie looked at his retreating figure.    
He caught Chim’s eye and got a nod in response, letting Eddie know Chim had to deal with his own Buckley when the news broke last night.    
Instead of resting when the others did, Eddie stayed up. He needed to tell Buck how he was feeling, he just didn’t know how. When he saw the yellow legal pad sitting there, he got up and grabbed it and a pen. Sitting on the couch, he turned the television on for a bit of noise and light then thought for a second before starting to write.    
  
_ Dear Evan,  _ _  
_ _ I’m not sure if this letter will even make sense, or that I’ll say the right things because there’s not enough emotions, feelings, thoughts for how much I love you. You took this broken shell of a man and made him laugh again, made him smile again. You took my son on, no questions asked and it didn’t matter to you about his condition. You make the day so much better.  _ _  
_ _ Your smile lights up the fucking skies for me when I can’t see past the gray. When we kiss, it feels like we’re the only two people in the world. I never want our kisses to end. I don’t know what saints my Abuela prayed to to bring you into our lives, but fuck am I happy they answered them. You, Evan Buckley are so kind and caring, it makes me feel ten feet tall when you look at me like you do. Everything about you makes me want to be a better person, just because you’re in this world. Every day, we walk out of the house together, the sun is a little brighter, the sky a little clearer because you’re there to make it so.  _ _  
_ _ Honestly, there’s nothing in this world or the next I wouldn’t do to make sure you stayed by my side, and let me be by yours. You know a million things I never will. And watching you tell anyone who will listen about my-our-son, makes me want to cry sometimes. Watching you is my favorite hobby. I love seeing your eyes go soft when helping kids, or when you’re trying to protect someone from the fires we rush head first into how your shoulders seem to grow and form an infinite wall of security. I love your laugh and the way your whole body sometimes shakes with it.  _ _  
_ _ When you hold me, I know I’m safe, I’m protected. When you touch me, I want to stay in that moment forever. You Evan Buckley, make me wish for things I never thought were possible after all the bullshit life threw at me. You make me a better person just from knowing you. By letting me love you, and you loving me, I feel like there nothing I can’t tackle or take on. I love you Evan, and I know right now it might be hard to look at the brighter things in life, but I want you to know that I’ll sit with you in your darkest days, and try to make the pain a little less. I want you to know you and Christopher are everything to me. You have my heart now, and always. I hope you can read this and feel all the love for you inside the lines.  _ _  
_ _ Now and always,  _ _  
_ _ My love,  _ _  
_ _ Eddie.  _

Eddie tore the paper and folded it, then got up and headed downstairs to his locker, slipping it inside with the reminder to give it to Buck before he got on the plane.    
  
When Monday came, a somber mood settled into the house. So much so that Chris didn’t even protest when they had simple cereal instead of whatever concoction Buck wanted to cook most mornings. Buck barely touched his cereal, and instead of staying home in bed, like he usually did when Eddie took Christopher to school, chose to go with them instead.    
Buck held on a little tighter to Chris when it was time to go inside, letting him know that he wasn’t going to be there when Chris got off of School. Chris was slow to get into the school building, looking back often. When they got into the truck, silence filled the air between them. Eddie reached over and grabbed Buck’s hand, resting them on the console as he drove towards LAX. When they parked, they took their time getting to the doors.    
Eddie started to move back, and looked up at Buck when he stilled.    
Eddie grabbed his shirt and held onto him, slipping the letter from his own pocket and into Buck’s. “Read that on the plane,” he whispered while he kissed him. He wouldn’t get to feel Buck against him for a month. When they pulled away from each other Buck's eyes shined with unshed tears.    
“Will you come in? I can’t do this again, not here.” Buck sounded so small.    
Eddie pulled him close and then took his hand.    
When Buck’s security check was announced they hung on for dear life to each other. Touching, Holding, kissing. Until finally Eddie stepped back, urging Buck to go. He wiped the tears from Buck’s face, adding a small quick peck to his lips.    
“Go. I love you. Call me when you land. If I don’t answer...”    
“You’re on a call, I know. Fuck Eddie, I love you.” Buck kissed him, this one hard, rough. Reminding them both of everything left behind.    
“We’ll wait for you. I love you, Evan. We love you.” Eddie let his hand go and Buck started walking away.    
Eddie waited until Buck disappeared behind the checkpoint before he left the boarding part of the airport. When he got into the car, everything hurt for the man he loved, hurt for the woman he thought of as a sister and hurt because they had to deal with shit, from people who didn’t give a damn about them and their family, their real family would be without them for a month.    
He texted Maddie to let her know Buck was through the check-point, then he headed to work, sending up a small prayer hoping he’d get the Evan he loved back. And that his letter was enough.    


**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Comments are awesome! 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @kitkat0723


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